... you think that's funny?

Ah.. my keys were not working again. I went back to the reception to ask for new keys. As I entered the reception I found it was the same girl standing there who changed my keys last time. She had advised me not to keep keys in wallet as it gets discharged (or whatever) when it comes close to credit card. And I had told her that I would still keep it in my wallet because that was the best place to do so. I was thinking she'll advice again and I was in no mood for advices. I just had to get the keys corrected. Anyway, I went towards her. I had seen her after quite some time.

"Hey.. how are you? Didn't see you for some days! Are you alright?"

"Oh yea.. I am fine. How about you?".

"Well, am good. My keys aren't working again. Could you fix them?"

"Oh sure." She said as I handed over the keys to her. She turned around and was doing something that I couldn't see.

"Who did this to you?" She asked while she was still facing the other side.

"Huh?" I didn't quite get it.

"I mean which girl?"

"Huh?" I was thinking 'what?'

"I mean which girl did this to you? I am talking about your keys..."

"Fuck off.. you thought that was funny?! Get me my keys and and keep your shit with you"
I just giggled and didn't answer.

Sometimes people try to be absurdly funny. Her joke was not even a bad joke. It was not a joke at all, although she thought it was. I know jokes are meant to be stupid, but even then they have some stupid relevance. In fact, few minutes after that I was imagining.. What kind of thing a girl could do to me, that would make my keys not to work? And well, I came up with nothing. God, give these people some better sense of humor.

"Aren't any seats vacant back there?" The old man asked.

"No. It doesn't seem to be. Though driver said there are two seats vacant, but I see only one"

"Ok. I will wake her up. You can take that seat" He said, pointing towards the old lady who was peacefully sleeping occupying two seats on the other side of the aisle. I didn't want to wake her up, but then I was left with no option. So I just stood beside her seat trying to figure out if she was with someone who I could talk to. That's when the old man asked me that question.

"Aunty.. Aunty.. Auuuuunty.."

What...? Did I hear it right? I think so. I heard him calling her Aunty.. or may be I was too exhausted after 30 hours of journey. Either it was her name or she was his aunty really. Although the latter is less probable as the man himself was too old. You know what I mean.

And he was still shouting. Finally she woke up.

"Leave that seat to him."

"Sorry for the trouble. But there's only one seat which is vacant. So I had to.."

"Its okay". The old man said to me. Then he turned to the lady and said "He's the guy with the doughnuts"

(Expand\Collapse...)

What? Where from doughnuts are coming into picture?
I ignored.

"He's got the doughnuts"

Now what's up with this guy, maaaaan. I couldn't guess what was he thinking!
I had to say, smiling

"Noooooo... I don't have any doughnuts!"

"You must have. You have got this much big bag in your hand. There must be something that you are hiding inside"

Yes, I am hiding. I am hiding a lot of things. You don't know.. Actually I am a smuggler. I am smuggling in some antiques. Or may be it has fake currencies. Or oh.. wait.. may be its a bomb! Or I won't tell you that there is a lot of porn out there which I don't want to show you, Old Man!

"Its just some duty free stuff I bought at the airports during my stopover. And you don't carry doughnuts like these! Or you check my bag..." I said, with a fake smile again & moving my plastic bag towards him.

"Okay. I thought you would give us some doughnuts. Anyway..."

Now what's with the doughnuts man... You lived your entire life on doughnuts? What's making you go begging for doughnuts? Can't you just mind your business and give me a break! Are you nuts? Are you trying to be funny? Or you think I'll really give you those doughnuts even I had some? I would give you only my ... leave it. He's an old man. Don't want to say bad words for him.

I was so tired and hadn't slept well after a tiring 30 hr journey and I had to go another 2.5 hrs in that bus, the thought of which was making me more tired. And this guy is craving for donuts!

Well, finally I sat down and thought... what a poor sense of humor some people have. God, save me.

But God never listens at the right time. That Old man turned back and played his final shot...

"If she snores, then tell me."

Well, that was better.

"Hmmm.." I smiled.

But as I said, god never listens at the right time. He was not done yet. He continued,

"Know what.. you'll see when she snores, the window panes will shake"

What? What the fuck?...
I didn't know what to say. I almost felt like saying ... okay leave it again. He is still an old man. I decided to close my eyes as I was really sleepy and hoped that that guy wouldn't wake me up trying to be more funny.

It was peaceful since then. He got down at the next stop itself where we reached after an hour.

"So what have you planned for saturday night?" The same reception girl asked me.

"Huh?" What was she thinking?

"I mean do you have any plans for saturday night?"
Why? If I don't have then would you sleep with me?
I mean, what was that question? I was checking out of the hotel on saturday morning itself. Why does she need to ask me for my saturday night plans? She was definitely not asking me out. That would be the last thing I can imagine with her.

She understood that I have not got her yet. This time she was a bit clear,

"I mean, I thought you'll not be in hotel for this weekend as we are booked but probably you were coming back the next day. Isn't it?"

Now, why couldn't she be clear at first. It was not that difficult of a question.

"No, I am not coming back.." I wanted to say more but she didn't let me and started blabberring like a chatter box.

"Yeah that's what I was telling to him... how can one stay for so long.. I mean hotels are meant for 2-3 days stay.. who stays for months..." and she was making really fucking silly expressions as if her facial muscles are out of her control and moving like a wierdo. She was still talking "No one stayed in this hotel for so long. In fact I never heard even extended stays can be this long. I don't think it makes sense for anyone to stay this long. So why would you stay.. I told him but he kept telling me that you were going to stay... blah blah blah blah..." She kept talking as if she would never stop.

I rested my elbows on the desk, moved my hand up to rest my chin on my palms, and kept looking at her while she talked. I had a 2.5 kg laptop and some stuff, that I bought from the food store on my way, in my backpack and they all together were really heavy. I had already walked close to a mile with them on my back and I wanted to give myself some rest. I knew this was going to take long.

She was saying just some or the other things and mostly repeating her sentences. After a while, she probably realized that she was doing it way too much... may be because of my gesture. She paused and looked at me, saying nothing as if she felt I wanted to say something, and she was right.

"I WILL be in Anacortes. I am just moving to a different place. It's an extended stay apartment from a hotel. So I have a bigger place to live, which is closer to my office as well as the shops, and I get a hotel service at an apartment. That's definitely better." I explained.

"Oh yeah... That will be good for ya."

I know, bitch. You don't need to tell me.

"I am checking out on saturday morning" I said.

"Ooooooo.. We'll all miss you so much!!!!" She said as if she would die missing me. And mannnnn, she is soooooooooo loud. I am afraid people who remain close to her for a long time would go deaf soon. Well, I must admit she was sexy too. But I hate girls when they are way too loud. It just doesn't feel that you'e talking to a girl! But I did take the opportunity to admire her figure :)

"I will miss you too!!!!" I said and came out thinking 'bitch.. go to hell'. But probably I'll miss the housekeeping girl more! No no.. am not talking about that fatso. The one who accompanies her. Now she's nice. Calm, polite, with a very cute smile and has got a nice figure and face. When she comes to my room knocking for housekeeping during weekends and asks 'Do you want me to do your room today?', I almost feel like saying 'Who cares for the room! Why don't you *do me today*?'.. Well, but you know I won't say that. Anyway, coming back to our original topic... That drama by the reception girl.

Now that wasn't really funny. People sometimes act so so so dumb! She almost embarassed me by saying 'who stays in a hotel for so long'! Now, why the fuck she cares? You don't want to run your hotel or what? Am I asking you to pay for it? Then what the heck were you thinking?